The Game

I had dinner with a friend on Friday and with all the many things we talked about, the one I told him I'd write about this weekend was how "The Game" in our dating world has taken over this generation. There are plenty of articles on this same topic but I don't care, I wanted to point out how this is truly affecting people. He is 30 years old now and has yet to settle down. I asked him why he thinks he hasn't done so yet. Good looking, independent, smart man and yet he doesn't seem to find his right girl. He goes on to tell me that he just has this checklist that makes it impossible to find her and how when he was younger this "game" of acting like you just didn't care made girls want him and vise versa for the ladies. The more we pretend to not care, the more they want you. Why? Because people want what they cannot have. Sometimes I wonder if this is one of the reasons it didn't work out with the last guy I was talking to. He would pursue me for months and once I started to pay attention, he changed. The chase was over I suppose. There is more to a person than this. I had so many questions because I sincerely wanted to get to know him better and he was just distant. I am not agreeing with playing the game. I am letting you all know it is exhausting! Why are people doing this to each other? How do you expect to find love? Men talk about how "nice guys finish last" but sometimes I think that goes for good girls too. My views on what I look for in a man have definitely changed and I do not have time for these kinds of games, no one looking for something real is interested in this. Go buy yourself a board game in that case. Everyone including myself has a checklist but wouldn't it be fascinating to sit back and get to know all types of different people and see how that goes instead? They say the best relationships start as friendships. That's what I want to concentrate on; friendships. Healthy friendships. Everyone you come across in life will teach you something different even if they are only there temporarily in your life, lets learn about one another! I am trying to grow as a person, I am trying to become a Godly woman and I have taken a few steps to try to get closer to where God wants me to be. At the end of the day this game people are playing isn't going to help anyone. Become the person you want to attract. Be the one, the one you are looking for is looking for. You have to be the one. Thank you Pastor K.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V1nRB8ZmpDk

 

    

Party Of 1 Please

 

The love cleanse update is here! This was my first week on my cleanse and so I did something I was actually quite nervous to do. I took myself out to dinner. Even though to a few people this doesn't seem like a big deal, it most definitely was to me. It was nerve-racking to imagine. My palms began to sweat as I approached the restaurant. I took a deep breath, said a little prayer and walked in. The lights were dim so I felt better as I got closer to my table. I ordered a glass of wine to see if that'll help loosen me up a bit. I noticed the waitresses were very attentive to me. Yes, I said waitresses. I had multiple girls approach me to make sure I was comfortable, asking if I wanted more wine. Luckily for me it was happy hour but I only stuck to one glass. I read my book, sipped on my chardonnay and waited for my sushi to be ready. I felt amazing after a while, very empowering feeling to know I really don't need to depend on people to enjoy a nice meal. Perfect example is that a lot of my friends don't like sushi so there we have it. I think it's important to do things like this for yourself, for your sanity. Like I've mentioned before, I've been single for a bit now and even though I've been alone, I have never tried this whole "dating myself" thing and for the first week in, I feel proud. As I wrote this I was sitting on a beach chair, with my feet in the soft white sand, the wind blowing in my hair, music playing in the background and a perfect ocean view. I was not alone this weekend but I was alone in my thoughts at this moment. The minute I sat down I looked up and thanked God for allowing me to spend a weekend at the beach with such inspirational women, for allowing us to have a perfect day and blessing us overall. I finished another book as I sat there from a new author, Melissa Molomo and I felt an overwhelming feeling come over me. I need to make things happen within myself and my life. There is a reason why I am a dreamer right? I have to stop doubting myself. Change is coming! It started with the books I've read, with this blog, my relationship with God. Only good will come of this. I am excited to see where this all leads.

 

Self Love

A New Start To A New Month

 

 

 

 

 

A few days ago I finished Mandy Hale's second book "I've never been to Vegas but my luggage has". Reading her stories made such an impact on how I think of a few things, starting with myself. This book was just as great as her first so if you are a woman looking for some sassiness and guidance please go check out her books! From reading her inspirational stories I decided I'd do something she did in her 20s. She called it a "love cleanse", in other words dating myself for 30 days or more, learning about self love, appreciating me, taking the time to free myself from my past and getting closer to God. I found it amazing how this decision became a reality even after oddly being bashed about it. When people try to convince you not to follow what your heart is telling you to do, it only pushes a person more and maybe one day I'll thank her for taking this as a joke. As it is I have reserved my Thursday evenings to take myself to the movies, it's been a couple of months now that I've been doing this and she even tried to convince me to change that to another day to go to a bar every Thursday instead... ummm how about no? When I told her how I felt she said she was sorry that I took everything the wrong way. I explained time and time that I had nothing to lose in this choice but probably much to gain in hopes I find a different side to myself. I've been dating, wasting time on pointless men and always find myself back on square 1. Maybe I was just seeking their attention, maybe I am was doing something wrong, maybe I cared too soon or maybe I was just lacking my self love. I was recently talking to someone and even before I pulled the plug, this decision on my love cleanse was already a set goal. Long story short as to why I let him go was because he didn't respect me or my feelings. Funny thing is that Sunday night when I had the courage to tell him how I felt, all he could say was "I am sorry you feel this way Steph". Don't feel sorry for me, I don't want that. I want your understanding, I want you to put yourself in my shoes.

In this 30 day love cleanse I will be taking myself out on dates, not just to the movie theater every week. Maybe try a few things I've never done before, jump out of my comfort zone for a change, wet my feet in unknown territory, concentrate on what really matters. Today I will start with a spa day. I have never tried this and I am so very excited about it. I hope this is a start to a beautiful journey and I will keep you all posted. Happy 1st of the month !