The Start Of My View On Men

 

 

 

Your insecurities start as children. Your past. This is where it all begins.

As we get older those insecurities really don't go away. They either get bigger or you learn to hide them better.

My mother was 17 years old when she met my father. He was 22 years old. My father didn't exactly believe in monogamy to say the least & from what my two sisters & I experienced as children was not always a fairytale. I was around 11 years old when my parents finally split up & though people assumed I was unhappy at the thought of a broken home; I wasn't. He was a very angry man. I can't tell you that I have many happy memories with him as a child because I cannot even remember. What I can clearly recall is him watching a lot of football or soccer with a cold beer in one hand even when my mother would want us all to go out together, he wouldn't budge. I remember a lot of verbal and physical abuse mostly towards my mother but unfortunately we crossed his path sometimes. He used to cheat on my mother left & right. No shame. My mother to this day still tells me that she's certain me & my sisters blocked things out of our memories as children. Hopefully she's right.

I remember one afternoon that my mom was at work & for a stupid, childish reason my father spanked me so hard it literally left a print of his hand on me. I was around 9 years old when this happened. I sat by the window just crying & praying to God that my mother got home to save me. I prayed to a God I didn't know existed. My mother arrived shortly & defended me like a bear would her cub.

 

After their divorce he remarried one of the many women he cheated on my mother with & formed a new life. Not long after they moved to Georgia where my step mother assumed his cheating days would be over. Little did she know that he liked American women just as much as Latinas.

This is the kind of man that used to take us to his "girlfriends" houses to visit her but will tell us it was for us to go play with her kids.

There is so much more to this story & to be completely honest I am not exactly comfortable right now to share it all. Maybe one day I will. This is just a piece of my childhood for you to better understand where I am now & how I have reached these decisions. Daddy issues? Possibly.

 

Questions:

 

-Have you or anyone you know experienced similar situations?

 

-How has this affected your love life?