My First Dip Into Online Dating...

The Not So Great Singer & The Liar

 

 

Living in Miami and dating is a job on its own. I am sure with all the

stories my friends and I have, we can have our own radio show. No lie.

From smelling my hair to singing NSYNC and Britney Spears to me was one

of the very first dates I had from a guy on POF (PlentyOfFish.com). "Don't go yet! Let

me finish the song!" He said. I stood there wondering where the cameras were

assuming this must have been a joke. Nope. He was serious. Ha!

How much weirder could the night have gotten? Obviously I did not continue

talking to that one. NEXT !

An experience that left a minor scar was one to involve one of my

good friends. From the very beginning of getting to know these guys online

we obviously ask a lot of questions. One of the many questions after getting to know

them a little better and finally meeting is "How many people are you currently

talking to?" I only ask this question when I am interested of course.

Honesty is key people! He told me I was the only one he was talking to while I was

truthful and told him I was talking to 2 other guys at the time. After dating for about a month

or so I put up a picture on Facebook and my friend called me right away. "Steph!

are you with this guy right now?!" she asked. I said "Yes, what's going on?". She went

on to tell me she was dating the same guy. "Leave and call me back ASAP!" she told me.

The truth always comes out sooner or later. Obviously the fact that we were friends was the

honest mistake but the fact that he lied to us both was the issue at hand. When I mentioned

her name to him his face turned white and he didn't say a word. I walked out and he

didn't go after me. The calls began after my friend left him a voice message to forget about

us both. Thankfully I had a flight to catch the next day so I would have a nice distraction visiting

my cousin in Boston. When I got back he asked to see me and of course my nice

side allowed him to explain himself. He asked for my forgiveness and asked me for another

chance. The jerk tells me that I am the safest choice between me and my friend. I looked at him and laughed. Now is when he decides to be blunt?! I don't want to be anyone's safe choice! Seriously?! No one wants to be that person. I'll finish this post stating that I have always been a strong believer in "Everything happens for a reason" and there is always these little moments that I realize someone is definitely looking out for me because it could've been much more serious. 

 

 

 

 

Question:

 

-How honest are you when it comes to dating/getting to know someone?

 

I will continue to share dating stories next week!

 





The Start Of My View On Men

 

 

 

Your insecurities start as children. Your past. This is where it all begins.

As we get older those insecurities really don't go away. They either get bigger or you learn to hide them better.

My mother was 17 years old when she met my father. He was 22 years old. My father didn't exactly believe in monogamy to say the least & from what my two sisters & I experienced as children was not always a fairytale. I was around 11 years old when my parents finally split up & though people assumed I was unhappy at the thought of a broken home; I wasn't. He was a very angry man. I can't tell you that I have many happy memories with him as a child because I cannot even remember. What I can clearly recall is him watching a lot of football or soccer with a cold beer in one hand even when my mother would want us all to go out together, he wouldn't budge. I remember a lot of verbal and physical abuse mostly towards my mother but unfortunately we crossed his path sometimes. He used to cheat on my mother left & right. No shame. My mother to this day still tells me that she's certain me & my sisters blocked things out of our memories as children. Hopefully she's right.

I remember one afternoon that my mom was at work & for a stupid, childish reason my father spanked me so hard it literally left a print of his hand on me. I was around 9 years old when this happened. I sat by the window just crying & praying to God that my mother got home to save me. I prayed to a God I didn't know existed. My mother arrived shortly & defended me like a bear would her cub.

 

After their divorce he remarried one of the many women he cheated on my mother with & formed a new life. Not long after they moved to Georgia where my step mother assumed his cheating days would be over. Little did she know that he liked American women just as much as Latinas.

This is the kind of man that used to take us to his "girlfriends" houses to visit her but will tell us it was for us to go play with her kids.

There is so much more to this story & to be completely honest I am not exactly comfortable right now to share it all. Maybe one day I will. This is just a piece of my childhood for you to better understand where I am now & how I have reached these decisions. Daddy issues? Possibly.

 

Questions:

 

-Have you or anyone you know experienced similar situations?

 

-How has this affected your love life?

 

 

 

 

 

 



Introduction To A Taboo Life

Disclaimer: This blog is not to offend any mothers and/or married people. This is simply my view on things & possible guidance to my decision.

I'll be writing about parenthood, dating in this crazy generation and love.

I have been on & off dating sites for 2 years now. A few of my friends and cousins recommended them & well, after a while it seemed everyone was on them. I went from POF (Plenty of Fish) to OkCupid to Tinder & boy was that a roller coaster. Even though I had come across some bad apples, I cannot deny that I didn't learn a lot about myself; What I like & don't like in a man. After being in a relationship for almost 8 years you can imagine I had no idea how to navigate this new chapter in my life. I felt lost. An idea was planted after all the disaster expierences I had. This idea. Since I could remember I've always been the stubborn girl who made the decision long ago that I didn't think marriage was necessary & that having kids of my own one day was out of the question. I am 26 years old & plenty of people think I am wrong for making that decision. The older I get, the more annoying the questions get & I am pretty sure I am not the only one who feels this way. So my idea is to get the opinions of other women, maybe even men. Those independent women who made the decision to not be a mother & are older now. The women that are terrified of being a mother. The women that once thought like me & are mothers now. The list goes on. I want to hear what you think. I know men get this pressure as well so let's hear it all!

Questions:

-Do you feel pressured to have children in the future?

-What made you come to the conclusion of having or not having kids of your own?

-Older crowd! Do you regret having children or not having them? Are you happy?